When you can’t or won’t see the truth of it. He likes you for sure, but does he really, really like you?
Nobody wants to be the only one feeling the love. Why: It makes us feel crap and we spend way too much time questioning ourselves. We start to make it a battle, a challenge to get him to see that we really are all that. We are totally loveable and so we start to behave in another way, the wrong way. We think by becoming what he wants that we will make him fall, just as we have fallen. But what we forget is that we fell for him as he is. He didn’t try to be anything other than who he is. If he had then we would have known because women are intuitive that way.
It’s the ego you see. It kind of takes over because it just won’t accept what is staring it in the face. He’s just not that into us. But we are amazing, everyone else says so. We are clever, funny, witty and just about every other great quality. What isn’t he seeing? What is wrong with him? Clearly he is missing the bigger picture. We just have to make him see it… don’t we?
God no! It really doesn’t matter what you do. He won’t budge. He isn’t that into you. It doesn’t matter what you do to get his attention. He isn’t really looking, not all that closely anyway. Sure he likes you. You are a distraction for the moment but you can be sure he’ll drop you when someone more interesting comes along. But I am interesting! Of course you are, but he won’t see that. You could walk into a crowded room, nine out of ten guys will stare at you longingly. Yet the one you want won’t even give you a second look. It’s the one’s that don’t look that grab our attention. Yeah I know, it sucks!
Don’t Tell Him That You Love Him
The time to tell him you love him is not now. If you think that this will change his mind about you then you are mistaken.
You have just handed him power on a plate. Actually he probably won’t think that but he will instinctively feel it whether he knows what he’s feeling or not. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t tell someone you love them until you are dead sure that they love you too. It’s not a given that men should always be the first to declare it, but declaring it in the hope of making him fall harder will not make that happen. If someone loves you then you won’t need to provoke them into saying it.
We Want What We Can’t Have
It’s often only infatuation. I think we can mistake such a strong feeling for love when really it’s the idea of it we are obsessed with. We hate it that they don’t seem all that bothered and we become immersed in the challenge of it.
When we become convinced that he is most definitely the one, we miss other opportunities. We can only see him. He has become everything because he once used the word love. But once is a reflex action, not a statement of his intent. He was a bit drunk and we looked particularly pretty that night. He got carried away and he hasn’t mentioned it since. Either he’s forgotten he said it or he is desperately hoping we didn’t hear him right.
I once said it to a guy I was dating many years ago. Way, way back. I was extremely drunk and as soon as I said it I regretted it. He didn’t forget it unfortunately. I ended up saying it again eventually because I felt so bad for him. So that was twice without meaning it. I ended it soon afterwards. Poor guy. He didn’t know whether he was coming or going with me! In my defence I was eighteen at the time. That’s a pretty good defence right? So love is not always love. Sometimes it’s like a lot, but got too drunk to say it right and blurted out love instead. Whoops sorry.
Walk Away Girl
Sure it’s tough to walk away when you are in love, or at least think you are. I guarantee you that if you hang around you won’t feel good anytime soon. He is not the one for you. He has made that crystal clear but you can’t see because your glasses aren’t working right. Everyone else can see it but you have become convinced that they are wrong and he’s just playing hard to get. Men don’t play hard to get as a rule. If he likes you then he will make it obvious. He won’t be able to help it, it’s in his DNA.
Don’t keep texting him or calling him. If he wanted to hear from you then he would have called you. If he isn’t responsive then he isn’t bothered. He’ll text you when he’s got nothing else to do. He (probably) hasn’t had a horrible accident and isn’t in hospital with amnesia right now.
Tell him ‘It’s been fun, you’re great but I want more. Take care and all that’ You’ll feel a whole lot better believe me. Actually a very good friend of mine did just that when she felt the guy she was seeing wasn’t that into her. She went off travelling, met a gorgeous Italian waiter, had fun, came back home. A few weeks later the guy called her. They now live together! So whether they come back or not, it’s better to move on and get your self-esteem back on track 🙂