How To Find Your Inner Confidence
Until a few months ago, I absolutely dreaded talking about myself, what I do, and generally anything about my life. I can’t say exactly why because it’s not something that’s particularly rational. I think predominantly, it was the feeling that I was an imposter. Actually, that’s a thing, Imposter Syndrome.
I hate saying it even, because it sounds like I don’t think I’m good enough (or didn’t) to call myself a company director, an author, or a blogger. Why wouldn’t I? I really have no idea why I felt this way. I was an incredibly shy child, and really had no confidence until I reached my thirties. Maybe that’s the reason, who knows.
Anyway, I knew I had to get over this in a big way. I’m very good at promoting other people. I can shout about them from the rooftops. Even writing and promoting as them. Basically I can pretend quite easily 😉
Was Hypnosis Right For Me?
I’d had hypnosis a couple of years ago and it was pretty unsuccessful. No, it was very unsuccessful. All it did was make me anxious and want to run from the room and never, ever try anything so obviously ridiculous again. But it was really all about me. Traditional hypnosis just does not work for me. Besides that, I realise now, that I didn’t feel comfortable with the person I saw. He was very nice, nothing wrong with him at all. He just wasn’t right for me. So I wrote it off as not one of my better ideas, and forgot all about it. I just went out to make myself better. I thought, I can do this, I don’t need anyone to do it for me, or to trick me into thinking I’m okay. I need to be properly okay.
Anyway, fast forward a couple of years. I successfully managed to overcome what I considered to be character traits that were not desirable. By me that is. I used to be reactive, impulsive and crazy. Now I’m just impulsive and crazy. I’ve ditched the reactive bit! I decided that the other parts of me were actually pretty okay after all. I’d come this far with this personality. It hadn’t hindered me all that much, in fact, it had allowed me to achieve things I wouldn’t have achieved if I was different. I enjoy taking risks, I can’t help it. I like the excitement of going for it, even if it doesn’t work out. I try to think of the worst thing that can happen, and if I can live with that, then all is good.
But even after all that work on myself, I still couldn’t get over this fear of self promotion. How could I release a book, if I was too damned scared to say anything about it? Writing under another name helps for sure, but there was still all the social media stuff to get on with. I’m very good at preaching to my clients when they neglect social media as a means of promoting their business. I’m just crap at taking my own advice.
I was at one of my women’s networking meetings a few months ago when I met Katie. A beautiful, bubbly, modern, compassionate woman, who just happened to be a hypnotherapist. Katie specialises in Gamma reprogramming. It’s nothing like the traditional form of hypnosis. I decided to give it a go, with the mindset, that it was worth a shot. I really liked Katie, which was a good start.
Anyway, from the get go, I knew it was going to be successful. Katie made me talk about all of the things that might be holding me back, and then got me to say how I would feel about myself should I not have those things holding me back. Sounds simple, it is. Simple is often what you need. Katie, then got me to lay on the couch as she played something in the background and talked to me. I actually can’t even say what it was now, I just didn’t pay attention, I was so relaxed! I was never fully under, but this is normal. I was extremely relaxed and open to suggestion I suppose.
After a few weeks, I started to notice a change. Not just in the confidence to self-promote, but in other ways too. I began to realise, that I didn’t need anything else really. I actually had a pretty amazing life already, this would just be the cherry on the top. I started to think about all of the amazing things about my life. A job I’d began to really enjoy, since making the decision to go it alone. I had two amazing, supportive and fun friends, a beautiful son in Harry (Harrison, when he calls me Rochelle!) An amazingly supportive family, a comfortable lifestyle…..seriously, what’s not to love? Yeah, there are things I would like that I don’t have, and maybe a couple of things I might want to change, but what if they didn’t change? What if I didn’t get the other things I wanted? I’D BE OKAY.
Hypnosis was a success. I can honestly say, that I have no problem at all when it comes to promoting myself now. Just the opposite in fact. I am really enjoying it. Maybe Katie has created a monster 😉 I think it worked because I was convinced it would, and I had complete faith in Katie. I didn’t try to reason with myself. I let her do her stuff and gave in to someone else. I’ve always found that tough in the past. Not now, why try to make things happen forcefully when someone else is willing to help you do it effortlessly?